Because you have no idea what life has in store for you.
The first real failure I saw was in my teens, when my dad’s company collapsed and we were buried in debt. I watched it happen and could do nothing. But one thing amazed me. His endurance. He never gave up.
Never, ever give up.
Near the end of secondary school I got measles, which left me partially deaf. It was hard, but hearing aids got me through. I made it into one of the top engineering colleges in the state, Government Engineering College, Thrissur, and started chasing my dream of computer science.
Then one day I woke up completely deaf. Imagine waking from an evening nap unable to hear your own voice, or talk to your friends or your parents. It is as if you have been lifted out of the world while still standing in it. The worst part is watching everyone around you grieve and being unable to do a thing about it. You see your friends with teary eyes, and you act as if you did not notice.
By the end of 2011 I could not finish my degree. Stacks of back papers, no real skill for a job, and I could barely talk to anyone. I could see no way out. Without hearing or speech, how was I supposed to learn anything, let alone work on a team? Ending this life and hoping for a better one next time started to feel like the only option.
So why did I choose not to? Two reasons.
- My parents. They gave me everything, and I was their only child. Every dream they had for me would die in a single day, with no going back.
- If I ended my life in failure, I would be a failure forever, with no chance to ever get back up. If I chose to fight, I had at least a small chance. And if I failed anyway, nothing was lost. I was a failure already.
So I chose to fight.
When you want to get back up as badly as you want to breathe, you will.
People kept telling me to just forget the disability and live like everyone else. Never. Understand it. Accept it. Then work out how to get around it, not by pretending it is not there, but by knowing exactly where you are weak.
So I found other ways to communicate. The internet, email, social media. It cracked the world open. Suddenly I could reach further than I ever imagined, talk to people across the globe, trade ideas, and build things together. Stack Overflow became a lifeline, and it led me to people like Paresh Mayani, where one connection led to the next.
Success is never just you. It takes kind people who show up exactly when you need them. A doctor, Thomas, who understood my situation. A Primal Pappachan who got me started with Android. A Vinod sir who gave me my first job with no interview and dared me to build something real on my own. An uncle, Kishore Kumar, who helped me set up my first business. An Uttam Kumar Tripathi who trusted me to build a community. An Amrit Sanjeev who never stopped inspiring me. And friends who never left, no matter what. Nidu, Sandeep, Nikhil, Joel, Joe, Varkey, Ajay, Sreejith, Ninto, Shaheen, Shyam, Vinu, Kannan, and Martina are only a few of them.
That is my story so far, and I have wanted to tell it for a long time. I am looking forward to whatever comes next.
At Google I/O 2014 in San Francisco, as an invited guest of Google.
Intel HQ during my Silicon Valley visit. Thanks to Bijoy.
With the Developer Relations team at Google, people I had known only through email until then.
The only disability in life is a bad attitude.